Monday, July 5, 2010

For Hope and Those Without

My scars are scabbing and they are annoyingly itchy.

It's so fun to be evil and so sad to be one at the same time.


I have to say, last night I just had a Revelation. I missed almost one week and counting of school that I tried to remember what is it I miss about it. School, you know. I thought about it and remembered, the most I thought about of school is studying. Well, that'll be normal, but then of course everyday I go to school the most dillema I - fashion wise - is the big question of: WHAT WILL I DO WHEN MY SHOES ARE UNTIED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD? and that's about it.

The mental path of one as silly as me, from missing school to fashion disasters. I could hardly call it that, cause personally, I feel it's not what normal teenagers would nominate as fashion disasters. Really, I see them, at school, everyday, those people who wears make up, wears high heels, hairs done you'd think it was saloned. I don't particularly hate them. It's just their 'way of life' is ---difficult. For me, that is. And especially if people force me to it. I still get nightmares from that *doll shoes* event.

After that rant, I'm really glad to say that I'm getting well soon. Very soon. I'm listening to My Chemical Romanance, Linkin Park, and various other J-rock/J-pop. My mood is lifting up. I also read the Defense Devil newest chapter, LOL, is it really surprising that the two main character's Fight to the Death was a battle of Rock-Paper-Scissors???

O, btw, the title refers to my friend, yeah, that one. She's awfully stubborn and annoyingly cute. We don't know what to do with her. She's impossible. She's the type to lecture everyone and then does everything the opposite of what she advices people. Hell, it's like when you talk to her your conversation goes round and round. In order for you to see her point and for her to see your point, blood must be shed, i think. I hope it doesn't lead to such violence, our conversations are fun and witty at the most but-it's just so hard when serious things are considered. It feels like falling in Alice's rabbit hole down, down down to Wonderland.

I once read something that goes like this: regrets are from expecting, but you can never have regrets when you are hoping.

Is it true?

Is it really?

This week, I did not go to school so that I will properly and completely be healed from chicken pox. (It's so that I can have more time for my chicken pox scars to heal and for my friends not to be infected also.) I also have TOO MUCH TIME in my hand and head that I surf the net all day long. With nobody around. With food stocks all in my reach. It feels so peaceful and heavenly, this is my type of environment.

But this week I dub the CALM BEFORE THE STORM.

Why? Because my increasingly paranoid instincts tell me that hell will fall down on me like angry Twilight fans. Next week is the schedule for most of my major subjects. All my handouts are at my dorm, i haven't got anything to study here. I also have to face the cas council and the special events I am co-handling without trainor and without members and without practice. I know I'm just being paranoid, but i can't help it! My academic persona is panicking while my lazy persona is rejoicing!

I can not give hope to those without, for I am also searching.

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