Friday, April 29, 2011

Brimming with Witlessness and Sloth

SMILE, they like it when you do.


I see the world as it is in the homeless person's dark gloomy feet, of journeys untold and life so unfair and unjust. I see the world as it should be in the night when a blackout shines brighter than any sun and the all the stars that hid appear as if from a dream. I see the world as it will be in my safety of my thoughts, in my words that could either create or decimate and in the do or do not.


Even though I've come so far,
I know I've got so far to go
And any day now I'll explode

-Like the Angel by Rise Against



I really have got to stop talking to myself. Soliloquy isn't as fun as I make it to be. Life's catching up. Hmn, what if I'll be the one to try and run towards it. Like negating a force of impact by providing the same amount of force. Writing feels like a workout you know venting stress and frustrations to turn into words - brilliance. You can actually make money doing this. But I write and money doesn't just attach itself beside your exclamation point and commas. I've got a life. This just keeps getting cliche-r every day. I've got friends that I have always wondered as to how they can endure my random brief moments of insanity.      We are all mad here.


"Is this the real life or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen


What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of dying regrets.
That is why I try, and try, and try so hard to be more active and productive and just to be more me. To reach my own expectation of myself or something. Just not, I wouldn't want a repeat of these past few years of giving a pretty good walking dead expression. Still, I can be freaking arrested, file a lawsuit and yeah, being of age and a year also has perks. Though I only am typing this, I am pretty good on my words, now anyways, so I shall fear no evil, though i will be scared because scared means careful and I need all the care I can get - I shall also follow D.W. advise "EMPATHY, Sam, EMPATHY!!" - I shall not procrastinate and shall do immediately anything that I need to do.

Even though what I really want is to read HTML and make programs I should instead read NEWS and make criticism and the like.

This is what I signed up for. I keep PSALM 23 close to my heart.

someday

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Te ano karon: Sa Pagkatutom v2.a

Soporific - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster ... - [ Isalin ang pahinang ito ]
a : causing or tending to cause sleep b : tending to dull awareness or alertness. 2. : of, relating to, or marked by sleepiness...


I'ma listen to this band that a friend of mine from high school recommended. in noomine. gonna be real cool listening to latin music? as in real latin?

I really am weirded out - or at least disconcerted that i've left, what a couple 100 words not even then, at my last post. It was not one of the best of my days-night whatev. The "weird" thing that I have discovered is how often I use the word "weird" to describe a person/place/thing just because. It's weird.

I must have gone crazy but life is on a fast track to a spiraling path to something dark and funny and a bit fearful. Yeah, I fear. For my life, sanity and soul. I am not an atheist. I try but I am not. In fact, i want to own and read the *great* BIBLE. Would you like to give me one?

I want to say how difficult it is to travel and the internship is mind-blowing, I'm afraid of my term at SSPG, my mind is filled with worst-case scenario happening to me as bm at cas, and i feel like i've pretty much wasted half of my life on earth. I want to be productive. I do not want to just be couch potato or an internet addict, reading fanfiction all night and day without ever learning social graces and having a real life. I wanna effing sleep. Im tired but I haven't done anything worthwhile this is frustrating. I wanna write. read. read some more. draw. watch info thingies and everything.

I have to care and be observant or I'm gonna die. I don't want regrets, I need to change and change we do. Because we are humans capable of higher understanding. That's why we invented computers.

I lovelovelove internet. I worship programming languages. I still alive in this earth because of torrents and downloadables.

You ever have a moment when you got this thing all planned out in your head to the last detail with planA and planB but when you're gonna start it all something happens and screws it all up? Like now when I feel so sleepy, I think I'm melting and oh god is this even 'the real life? or is it just fantasy? caught in a landslide no excape from reality, open your eyes look up at the skies and see...' I'm hungry and it's 1am in the morning. effing. i don't wanna be. something i don't need to be.

work hard. easy reading is hard writing. monetize your hobby. practice your pleasure. get our of your comfort zone to succeed in life. it's true just do it, yoda.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Terribly, Horribly Good

War poems aside and bible psalms and fanfiction qoutes...

"i've been better" is what i'd like to say but it's 5:46 and I have an internship at 8:00 and i'm writing in my blog whilst listening to metallica.

Round and round and circles is our internship at capitol.

People who loves stat sometimes doesn't get high grades and vice versa

People don't pass not because they are unintelligent but because they are lazy.

MAY 29 is my report on Fallacies and Sophisms.