The Zombie Days

I want to say that my happiness does not depend on other people. I know what my happiness is (most of the time) and PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Would you people just let me be happy!

I don't want people to like me. I don't need people to hate me. I don't need people to do anything except not to do something that i don't like. In short don't please intervene with my own businesses. When I don't like something I really don't like it. When I say I hate cockroaches...I hate them to the point of killing one on site, preferably killing it slowly, violently and painfully. Now, when I say I don't like my fly-away hair, I really don't like it to the point that I will forget that I have a hair like that and imagine myself bald as I walk the street.

I really don't like it. I really don't like it. I really don't like it.

Everytime it comes in view, my heart palpitates with annoyance and anger in split nanosecond before I remember that I am bald (i wish).

And to someone out there who knows, please don't brush my hair in fly-away style. PLEASE!!! Really really please. I'd rather you punch and stab me rather than have my flyaway hair be brushed to be more fly awayier. Please don't do that.

Anyways, I wrote my Fb Page on this Blog as a Visual Artist. I don't want to say that I am not a writer, we all write. But I only consider myself as a Visual Artist more rather than Writer.

Whereas, I want to have my say that in this room full of nursing majors that i once found advantageous, I feel like im being driven to a corner where 'idiots sit here' are spray-painted.

People of the Philippines who are my classmates, I want to say that inside my room, the nursing major are face on books night and day and even on sleep. I mean that they read, they make reviewer, they DISCUSS what they study and they get good grades. Sometimes, they cry when they get 1.5 or 1.75, claiming it too low.

Can you people get it? Compare it to our glorious Course of Political Science and Public Administration? We all know what happens, is happening, had happened...and i don't have to elaborate it here. ew.

So, I had wanted for sometime now to study...seriously study. I joined the CAS COUNCIL precisely because it is full of work and activities and events. I want to be busy. Being bored and unpreocuppied is painful and bad for my physical as well as mental health. When I have lots of work to do, I do it much better and much faster. That's what I know. But other people just won't believe me in this, when im the one who knows the best cause it's my own self we are talking about here.

Whenever I don't sleep at night, I really don't want to sleep because of a reason, and that reason is valid enough, important enough to warrant me not sleeping. I just don't like having people talk to me about it like it's a crime for me to do that. And then force me to eating menudo and rice when I don't want to eat. Ehem Ehem.

The only thing that bugs me the most aside from my happiness being hampered is regretting something that I didn't do that I wished I had. There are many many things I wished I had done for this and that and I can't now. It's all in the past. So I - we just have to accept the past and do everything in our power to have a better future.

I'm just gonna end it here with some wacko love confession from ch. 81 of Ouran Highcshool Host Club.

I love you.
*SHOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
Sorry I didn't hear you, what did you say?
NO! that was nothing important.
Did you just say you love me?
Wait, if you really heard it...
WAH~~! HIKARU!!! Haruhi is saying that she loves me what should I do!!!!
Don't scream another person's name when someone confesses their love to you!
Confession?...*dies*
I'm sorry, just forget it, I didn't mean to kill you.
WAIT! Me...Me Too!
...'me too? are you just saying you love yourself, too?
under these circumstances, why am i supposed to act like a narcissist? don't you love me?
i didn't say i love, i just said that maybe i could love you.
why are you lying so blatantly?
BECAUSE YOU'RE A BIG IDIOT! ...that's why i don't know if i love you anymore...