Brimming with Witlessness and Sloth

SMILE, they like it when you do.


I see the world as it is in the homeless person's dark gloomy feet, of journeys untold and life so unfair and unjust. I see the world as it should be in the night when a blackout shines brighter than any sun and the all the stars that hid appear as if from a dream. I see the world as it will be in my safety of my thoughts, in my words that could either create or decimate and in the do or do not.


Even though I've come so far,
I know I've got so far to go
And any day now I'll explode
-Like the Angel by Rise Against



I really have got to stop talking to myself. Soliloquy isn't as fun as I make it to be. Life's catching up. Hmn, what if I'll be the one to try and run towards it. Like negating a force of impact by providing the same amount of force. Writing feels like a workout you know venting stress and frustrations to turn into words - brilliance. You can actually make money doing this. But I write and money doesn't just attach itself beside your exclamation point and commas. I've got a life. This just keeps getting cliche-r every day. I've got friends that I have always wondered as to how they can endure my random brief moments of insanity.      We are all mad here.


"Is this the real life or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of dying regrets.
That is why I try, and try, and try so hard to be more active and productive and just to be more me. To reach my own expectation of myself or something. Just not, I wouldn't want a repeat of these past few years of giving a pretty good walking dead expression. Still, I can be freaking arrested, file a lawsuit and yeah, being of age and a year also has perks. Though I only am typing this, I am pretty good on my words, now anyways, so I shall fear no evil, though i will be scared because scared means careful and I need all the care I can get - I shall also follow D.W. advise "EMPATHY, Sam, EMPATHY!!" - I shall not procrastinate and shall do immediately anything that I need to do.

Even though what I really want is to read HTML and make programs I should instead read NEWS and make criticism and the like.

This is what I signed up for. I keep PSALM 23 close to my heart.

someday